Beyond Yacht Rock
The guys who made the internet show Yacht Rock talk about music other than Yacht Rock.
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The Host

JD Ryznar is a Hollywood writer. He knows very little about music, but enjoys imagining elaborate scenarios inspired by popular songs.

David B Lyons is a Hollywood Location Manager. He knows a little about music, but feels the need to compartmentalize genres, then rank them.

Hollywood Steve Huey is a former staff writer for Allmusic.com, a former talking head for VH1, and currently the only unmarried man on this podcast.

Hunter Stair is from Flint, MI.

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Description

A countdown of popular songs about statutory rape.

Show Notes

Intro song: “Thank Heaven For Little Girls” by Maurice Chevalier (Amazon)

References:
- From the movie “Gigi” (not “Gigli”; let’s revisit it with a clip)

 

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Yacht Rock Bone Throw: “Woman” by Dane Donohue (Amazon)

References:
- Worked with Terence Boylan, Hunter’s first Bone Thow
- Boylan’s nickname is “Boona”; Boylan album “Alias Boona”
- Donohue was Jesus Christ Superstar (listen)
- Ian Gillan (one of the Jesuses of Jesus Christ Superstar)
- Dane Donohue album
- On the album: Don Henley, Bob Glaub, Jay Graydon, Bill Champlin, Steve Lukather, Mike Porcaro, Stevie Nicks, Larry Carlton, Steve Gadd
- Gadd was not the drummer on “Peg,” but it was Rick Marotta
- Wendel, the drum machine on “Gaucho”
- Victor Feldman, the possible godfather of Yacht Rock, is also on Donohue’s album
- Amazon review giving clues to Donohue’s whereabouts
- Possibly this Donohue allegedly committed securities fraud

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Stat Tracks
Example song: “Little Girls” by Oingo Boingo (Amazon)

Stat Tracks are relatively mainstream songs that focus on sexual relations between two people in which one of the parties is below the age of consent. The songs are typically considered creepier because they penetrated the larger zeitgeist. These songs should spell out that a party involved is, in fact, an underage party. Plus, the singer usually seems to know exactly what he or she is trying to do (being transgressive at times).

References:
- “You’re Sixteen-You’re Beautiful (And You’re Mine)” by Johnny Burnette (Ringo covered it)
- Chuck Berry took a 14-year-old girl across state lines
- “Sweet Little Sixteen” by Chuck Berry (yes, this song is a carbon copy)
- “Edge of the World” by Faith No More
- “Jordan, Minnesota” by Big Black (not “Jordan, Montana”)
- The story that spawned the song “Jordan Minnesota”
- STDs are now STIs

 

Countdown:

10. “Desiree” by Neil Diamond (Amazon)

References:
- Older rabbi in sex scandal with youth?
- Easy Wickening
- In 1976, Desiree was 275th in girls names; in 1978 (one year after Diamond’s song), it was 154th
- Neil Diamond album “Glad You’re Here with Me Tonight”
- Television special for “Glad You’re Here with Me Tonight”

 

9. “Ursula Finally Has Tits” by the Queers (Amazon)

References:
- The Queers album “Love Songs For the Retarded”
- Laura Mulvey’s 1975 essay “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema”
- The Queers frontman Joe Queer
- Neil Diamond album “Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show”
- “Young Little Meat,” “Expose Yourself to Kids” by GG Allin
- Joe Queer’s remarks in the press

 

8. “17” by Rick James (Amazon)

References:
- Rick James kidnapped and beat a record executive
- Then James kidnapped and sexually assaulted a woman, burned her with his crack pipe
- James had problems with Prince
- Rick James in “Chappelle's Show”

 

7. “Jailbait” by Motorhead (Amazon)

References:
- Lemmy the Lurch
- “Jail Bait” by Andre Williams
- Wouldn’t you have liked to have sex with Lemmy?
- Other disgusting things Lemmy did
- Documentary about Lemmy; he and son swapped girlfriends

 

6. “Jailbait” by Ted Nugent (Amazon)

References:
- Ted Nugent album “Intensities in Ten Cities”
- Nugent is a spokesperson for the NRA
- Nugent in 1978 legally adopted a 17-year-old girl, with parents consent, to have a sexual relationship with her
- “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” by Ted Nugent
- Nugent’s hunting store in Jackson, Mich.
- Nugent hat: “Kill More Than Time”

 

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50 States in 50 Podcasts: Louisiana
“Don’t Mess With My Toot Toot” by Rockin’ Dopsie Jr. (Amazon)

Other Louisiana artists:
- Bill Conti (“Gonna Fly Now”)
- Master P (terrible Master P album covers)
- Aaron Neville and the Neville Brothers
- Hank Williams and his family
- Louis Armstrong
- Allen Toussaint
- Smiley Lewis
- Irma Thomas
- Professor Longhair
- Lee Dorsey
- Lloyd Price
- Dr. John
- Little Richard
- Fats Domino
- Jerry Lee Lewis (Ferriday, La., native who married his 13-year-old cousin at age 22 and was blacklisted, but then reemerged on country radio)

Other references:
- Show Me State (Missouri)
- Eunice, La.
- “Mein Tuut Tuut” by Leniemann (1985 German cover
- Jimmy Swaggart (disgraced televangelist and cousin to Jerry Lee Lewis) also from Louisiana
- Preservation Hall
- John Boutte
- “Treme”

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5. “Stray Cat Blues” by the Rolling Stones (Amazon)

References:
- Live version where Mick Jagger changes age of girl from 15 to 13
- Social justice warrior movement
- Rolling Stones sang about the devil, about masters having slaves
- Stones bassist Bill Wyman, when he was 47, had a relationship with a 13-year-old girl. They married, then when she was 19, divorced.
- David Bowie’s encounter with a 14-year-old
- Baby boomers are destroying our country
- We “learned it from watching you!”

 

4. “Seventeen” by Winger (Amazon)

References:
- Again, David Lyons puts the best song at No. 4. Steve did it, too.
- Anybody named Kip (pink sweater tied around his shoulders on the way to the tennis court)
- Bruce and Jeff: real men’s names
- “Headed For a Heartbreak” by Winger
- It’s hard to play “Seventeen,” says Kip Winger
- “Seventeen” peaked at No. 26 (May 6, 1989)

 

3. “Rough Boys” by Pete Townshend (Amazon)

References:
- Underage, underground male prostitution rings of London
- Townshend’s problem with Sex Pistols
- Molestation themes of “Tommy”
- Male nudity in “Quadrophenia”
- Townshend being arrested for child porn possession
- Townshend’s autobiography (the boat trip)
- Dave’s review of Townshend’s autobiography at Amazon

 

2. “Into the Night” by Benny Mardones (Amazon)

References:
- Mardones wrote “Into the Night” when he was 34; he looked 50
- Video for “Into the Night”
- “Aladdin”
- Mardones was doing $1,000 worth of cocaine every day at his career peak
- Mardones’ apparent story of “Into the Night”

 

1. “Young Girl” by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap (Amazon)

References:
- White limes
- Donald Trump
- Puckett didn’t write “Young Girl”; Jerry Fuller did
- Dr. Conscience

 

Other proposed genre songs:
- “Parents Just Don’t Understand” by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince
- “Shake, Rattle and Roll” by Big Joe Turner
- “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by the Police
- “Everyone’s Gone to the Movies” by Steely Dan

Other references
- “Glee” episode that included “Young Girl” and “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” (this is also creepy)
- “This Ain’t Glee XXX” (“Don’t Cum All Over Me”)