1 oz faith, 1 oz disbelief, .5 oz class, .5 oz of crass, shaken. Add a splash of whipped cream vodka, gently stir with a dong, and garnish with Taco Bell hot sauce and you have a Dongtini*.

* actual Dongtini recipe is any drink that’s been stirred with a dong.


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The Host

Bookshelf bombshells Simone Turkington and Stephanie Drury met in a series of tubes while cyber-stalking a British rock band. The band broke up shortly thereafter. Draw your own conclusions. Have you ever dropped Mentos into a Diet Coke? Just saying.

Stephanie and Simone believe and disbelieve in God, respectively. They have an appalling fascination with dongs, fast food, the swimsuit area of pop culture, good books, religion and large big plentiful dongs. They are both married. Their husbands endure.


Dongtini’s Twitter

Simone’s Twitter

Stephy’s Twitter

Description On this episode: Simone makes a giant dong-centric announcement, the ladies engage in cognitive behavioral therapy, and Stephy is hit on by someone wheeling around his own urine. Also: Stephy’s certification test results, disgusting Australian spiders that clomp around and Simone’s invention for them, a church says that horse-stroking will cure your gay, something for the high-tech bulimic, an Amazon commenter extends Stephy’s husband his condolences, Ramona & Beezus, depression, the Liberacy movie, Goats In Trees reviews on Amazon, and erotica by Mr. Garrison. Five resounding stars!
Show Notes

Kids Expo in LA prepares children for a future full of disappointment and failure by encouraging them to strive for the red carpet!

Simone with a belly! Baby boy Turkington poses with the De Lorean for the first of many times in his life.

Simone screamed after opening this picture when she knew what she was doing, so click here only if you want to see a hunstman spider.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

The Aspire Assist A-Tube! The weight management system Simone invented.


Closing song: Lily Allen — “Everything’s Just Wonderful”

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